


Out of Sorts

by chashkieh



Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: 5x03 AU, Angst, F/M, Season/Series 05, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:28:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26333401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chashkieh/pseuds/chashkieh
Summary: Something in him just broke — he was tired of staying afloat so he let himself drown.5x03 AU
Relationships: Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Comments: 21
Kudos: 106





	1. Chapter 1

“Oh. Yeah. It must be terrible to not control your own fate.” The Detective replies nonchalant, her sympathy out of the window at the moment as she's also dealing with her own dilemma. 

“I get it, Detective! You’re struggling with feeling like you can’t cope. Well, welcome to the Bloody Club!” Lucifer argues back in frustration and the tension further rises.   
  
“You have no right to yell at me. Our situations are nothing alike. _You_ are an angel. _You_ deal with Celestial shenanigans all the time! I am just a person, Lucifer. _Just_ a person who is already dealing with the fact that I am in love with the Devil and _THEN_ — I find out that I was made to feel that way! So I am sorry that your brother is a jerk to you sometimes."

Lucifer understands this and he _tries_ or is trying to be patient, let her come to terms with it on her own. He deflates and sits down on one of the bar stools.

“I spent millennia in Hell imagining our reunion. Getting my partner back. Getting _you_ back, and now,” He pauses “I just thought it would go differently.”

“Yeah, me too. I thought what we had was real.”

That was it. Something in him just broke — he was tired of staying afloat so he let himself drown. 

"How would you know if you're made to feel that way, Detective? My Father is all about free will and that free will has been given to you lot. He may have carved a different path for you but ultimately it would still be your choice. I've been trying so hard to make you see that whether you're made for me or not, it doesn't matter!"

"It matters to me!"

"Why? Why can't we just live in the moment?"  
  
"I wanted to, but I can't. Not when it bothers me so much."

"What do you want me to do?" He pleads one more time. 

"I don't know, okay?"

"Then allow _me_ to tell _you_ what you need to do,"

She didn't even get the chance to defend herself from Lucifer acquiring her service weapon. Lucifer cocks the gun and forces her to take it and pull the trigger.  
  
"Kill me, Detective. Here and now."  
  
"No. Are you insane?" She tries to take his hold off the gun but obviously he's stronger. Chloe forgets sometimes that he's the actual devil. Not when he bleeds when she's around.

"Perhaps. Here, let me do it for you." He stood there, gun in hand, pointed to his temples. 

"Lucifer, don't do it," She pleaded, palms in a halting gesture.

Lucifer is manic, several thousand years in Hell may have hardened him since he is its master but coming back on Earth dredged up all those years of longing and his mind just snapped. 

"Right," He says and lowers the gun. "I shouldn’t do it here. I don't want to make a mess of your apartment."

The Devil walks outside, his long legs striding and in a short amount of time, he's over at the parking lot with Chloe close behind. 

"Lucifer, please stop. Let's talk this over." The tears wouldn't stop coming now and the horror at how this reunion turned out is also taking a toll on the detective.

"We've talked plenty and it got us nowhere. I told you I'm out of time and instead of just spending it with me, you chose to let this stupid celestial issue get in the way. This was probably what Michael aimed for. I hate giving him the satisfaction but I,” He pulls his hair in utter frustration and continues, “I am only here for you and you _rejected_ me. And now I'm only asking you to put me out of my misery and you can't even grant me that!”

"Killing yourself won't solve anything. Let me help you."

Lucifer shakes his head and Chloe's fears intensified as he points the gun again to his temples. 

"I love you more than anything, Chloe. I just realized I never said it back. And now you’ll be free from me."

Chloe's eyes widen at the unexpected declaration and wail the next when Lucifer pulls the trigger. Blood spatters on his left side when the bullet penetrates his skull and he drops ungracefully to the ground. 

The Detective trembles as she snaps back to reality and she had half a mind to call for an ambulance.

Lucifer is back in his throne, his corporeal form left on Earth for his friends to mourn. He really doesn't care anymore. He swore he would wait until she's passed on and then he'll make Michael pay. By then it wouldn't have made any difference but the satisfaction will be worth it. For now, he will be the Lord of Hell. The next, he will have his twin's head on a platter. 

_I'm a Devil of my word_


	2. Chapter 2

Lucifer doesn't even know how long it has been, not that he cares anymore, and ever since his last visit on Earth, no demon ever reported about souls ever meeting a certain Detective. Until today.

"Lord Morningstar?" Gromos steadily approaches. He'd been tasked to deliver a message to one Detective once upon a time and his Lord and master were pleased so he thought the King of Hell would praise him again for the news regarding their latest arrival.

"What is it, Gromos?" The demon found it fascinating how Hell's master remembers each and every one of its denizens despite their numbers. 

"A new soul just came in,"

"Well, new souls come in every minute. That's hardly news."

"Yes, but this one I'm sure you'll be interested in, My Lord."

"Hmm." Lucifer is not interested at all but something about his demon's demeanor made him stand up from his palace throne, "Lead the way, then."

"Yes, My Lord."

Gromos opens the cell door and has Lucifer step in first. 

"I'll take my leave, Lord Morningstar."

"You haven't told me who this soul is."

"You'll see."

With that Gromos exits the door with a smile on his face. 

The Lord of Hell sighs. Maybe he's become too lenient with some demons. But he thought it's better to give them a little bit of freedom so when the time comes to claim Michael's head and bring about the apocalypse, they'd pledge their loyalty and do whatever he asks them to. He's not worried about it just yet. They still have a lot of time to prepare. Until today. Of all days.

"No," The only word he could mutter once he sees the cell's occupant. The person's back is turned while a demon in the Hell loop gives chase. But before the bullet finds its intended target, the loop gets paused and Belial, the assigned torturer, gets dismissed unceremoniously.

The person meanwhile ducks behind a car and pants, thanks _someone_ for the cover but frowns because a shot definitely rang out. 

"I need backup," The officer whispers over the phone and the operator acknowledges, already tracing where the call is being made. The footsteps were near and the officer steels and grips her service weapon tightly.

"Detective," She would recognize that voice anywhere. It had been so long since she heard it but the tone was different. Almost sorrowful. 

Chloe Decker dares to look and confirms it to be her old partner Lucifer Morningstar.

"Lucifer!" She relaxed visibly and ran towards him to wound him in an embrace. He stiffens, of course, and she understands. Their last encounter had been unpleasant. "H-how are you here? We buried you, we — oh, wait. You're a celestial. I should know that. I'm glad to see you. I'm sorry. Can we please start over?"

"Detective, I am not on Earth."

"What?"

"What is the last thing you remember?" 

"I — trying to catch this perp and — am I in Hell?"

"Yes."

Chloe almost stumbles backward. Shit. She knew better than to go off on her own. She should have waited for backup. And now. 

"Well, I — " She's in tears now as she recalls her last conversation with Trixie just before she took on the case. "I guess I deserve this. I've been blaming myself ever since..."

"Oh, Detective. You need not feel guilty about what I did. I did it so that you can move on, not wallow in misery. You have to make this right. I cannot allow you to be in here."

"But..."

"You do not belong here."

* * *

Chloe takes a lungful of breath when she comes to, the pain of the wound that was supposedly there prevented her from standing up. She expected blood, lots of it actually, but there wasn’t any sign of it, just a hole from where the exit wound should have been. Right through the heart. 

What just happened? One moment she’s coming to terms with being in Hell and Lucifer telling her she doesn’t belong, and the next, she’s here on the cold hard ground, a little dizzy but otherwise okay. 

_Shit. I should call for backup._

But she could barely move. Maybe her body is still trying to recover somehow. To her relief though, paramedics arrived on the scene and she got hoisted to the ambulance. 

The next time she wakes up, Dan and Trixie are by her side. 

_What kind of Hell is this?_

She thought. And then finally remembered what happened. 

Lucifer dragged her soul back to her body and healed her mortal wounds, called for an ambulance, and told her to live and forget about him. 

And that he would not allow for her to reside in Hell because even after all this time, he still loved her. Would always love her.   
  
And that he’s sorry for the way he acted the last time.

_It was rather impulsive now that I think about it. I made a choice, it seemed right at that time. Although there is no use dwelling in the past. I’m fulfilling my role as you should yours. This is your second chance, Detective. Make it count. I don’t want to see you here again. You do not deserve Hell. Promise me, Chloe._

“I promise.” She mutters under her breath and hugs her daughter extra tight. 

* * *

“Lord Morningstar? May I ask why you let that soul go?”

“It’s none of your business why I do what I do, Gromos. Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

“Yes, my liege.”

Gromos leaves the palace with a confused look on his face. Why has their master taken a liking to this particular soul? And why was that soul allowed to go?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wasn't planning on a second chapter but this just came to me. Even though I like angst...... I am also a fan of happy endings. Thank you so much for the kudos and comments. I love you guys :) 
> 
> (this is the last one, I swear!) *runs in a corner and hides* XD

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah sorryyyyyyyy. T_T  
> Feel free to yell at me. >_<


End file.
